/Domestic violence(DV): You are not the only one

Domestic violence(DV): You are not the only one

You are wondering why  have I chosen this kind of a headline?

This is to tell you – the silent victim who goes on accepting emotional and physical abuse— to speak out and speak up against this.

Many of you have contemplated cutting your wrists or swallowing a whole   strip of sleeping pills   or maybe a fancy new way ( seen on TV!) to end the ordeal that is your life at present.

 My request to you is don’t do it!

I have  been interacting with some severely abused women  who have finally come out and spoken up  against DV and are now free  to live their lives.

In fact my friend D*** is happy that her in laws and husband have stopped harassing her  ever since she spoke to the  authorities. Just that!

And there is peace at home.

 D had a dossier of complaints  starting from the time she got married 20 years ago. I was amazed and shocked to go through it—- of the major  complaints  are of  the bones she has had broken  over the years. In fact her pelvic bone still hurts after nearly 5 years of being kicked around.

Anjana(name changed) finally walked out of 35 years of an abusive  marriage when her husband bit her on the face and arm . Yes, you read that right! He bit her—- this animal behavior is what finally drove her to the Women’s Cell at the police station where an immediate FIR was lodged. Within two days the court decreed that she should be given her own space.

The house she lives in   was divided , not allowing  her husband any access to her portion . A few years later the court ordered her husband to vacate the premises as he continued to harass her in many mean ways. She  also won ‘maintenance’ costs from her husband   even though both her children sided  with the father.

Rani’s (name changed) case was  a very sad one as she was abused due to the greed of  her  in laws, who egged on her loving husband to get money from her father. After a prolonged romance of nearly eight years and blessings from both the Telegu  and Bong parents , the marriage did not last even a year. She was going through hell when she was 6 months pregnant—she broke an arm and only extreme medical treatment saved her infant son.

Rani  did not wait for another incident. With the help of her family’s support she filed an FIR and won the divorce. She is happy and free now , bringing up her son  with the help of her mother and sisters. She has earned her place in the world of journalism.

I hope you, my reader,  have understood where I am going with this—- if domestic violence is stifling you , come out and speak about it .D has been suffering mental and emotional abuse from her parents in law and physical abuse  from her husband who has been bullied all his life by his parents.

I feel sorry for him because he has never gathered the courage to speak up to his father. He was not given his salary  dues when he worked for his father, not even when he got married !So he had to take it out on his  wife just because she never said anything either!

Thanks to this abuse , D has suppressed all her own personal interests  and desires. “I loved music and won prizes in school and college  for my singing.  When I came here into this family , there was no space for music.”

Anjana has gone back to her first love –painting. She has earned kudos fr her work  and is surrounded by friends who are battling similar situations in life.

Life is beautiful and you do not have to suppress your  inner person  just because one dumb p***** decides to vent his frustration on you!

Speak up!

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Shyamola Khanna

The first one in her orthodox Bong family to marry a Punju fighter pilot, Shyamola Khanna has never had a day’s regret, except for the fact that her dear husband of 36 years did not live to see the day her book came out. He would have been proud. From teaching kids in schools across the country, she made a tentative foray into writing lifestyle and soon acquired quite a professional level—she has been published in all the mainline newspapers and magazines. She continues to write for magazines and is now a volunteer teacher at the AOC centre and at the Denver School for the Blind where she helps kids with English.